One Paragraph Review: Castlevania – Lords of Shadow

by Elliot page

Steadfastly having nothing to do with those other silly games with “Castlevania” in the title, Lords of Shadow stars a depressed beefcake monk on a quest to escape the constant stalking narration of a bored Patrick Stewart. Only problem is, he’s the only person in 11th century not-Europe to use any kind of dye in his clothing, thus making him readily identifiable at 500 yards. Lots of monsters get in his way, but these are dispatched using a cinematic combat system hampered by the fact it takes upwards to twenty hits to slay an enemy. A more dangerous foe is the camera, which can quite often have a violent fit when offered two different fixed points to reside in. The music and ambient sounds of the environment and enemies, however, are a delight to the ears of our beefy monk.

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